From the shadows of death into the light of acceptance: A lived experience of patients with HIV-AIDS

Abstract

HIV/AIDS is one of the feared diseases worldwide. It is a disease thoroughly studied yet still incurable in this modern era. Having acquired it is like being faced with the possibility of spending life in limbo-marked by the disease, excluded from the norms of society and an outcast to many. The study has aimed to capture how patients with HIV/AIDS struggled with living with the disease, the obstacle they had to overcome and how they were able to deal with the problems that they encountered after being diagnosed with such disease. A descriptive phenomenology utilizing a semi-structured face-to-face interview was used. Four key informants (KI) from Metro Manila shared their lived experiences unreservedly. Through Colaizzi's data analysis two major themes and five subthemes reflected the lived experiences of dying persons living with HIV/AIDS: (1) Scourging of the Pessimistic Spirits (a) fear is a dark room where negatives are developed, (b) a spirit crying for succor. (2) Rise of the Optimistic Spirit (a) burning bush in the darkness, (b) transformation in the midst of the battle for life (c) acceptance as transcending condition. In learning their HIV/AIDS diagnosis, the KI had to go through a series of steps in their lives to accommodate this major trial into their identity. They had to experience the psychological distress and the physical limitations caused by the disease before discovering that they do not have to live in fear and isolation. They were able to emerge from the darkness of negativity into the light of acceptance and hope and have used their experiences as a way to teach and support others who are in the same predicament as they were before. They have also learned to accept their imminent death as part of their life.